THIS MONTH’S MEDIA: AUGUST 2020

I always feel like I’m forgetting stuff on these lists haha so something might be missing, but here it is!

TV

  1. Transformers: Prime S1 25, 26; S2: 1 
  2. Steven Universe: S2 EP. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
  3. My Hero Academia: S1: 5
  4. Bob’s Burgers: S3: 17
  5. Tiny Creatures: S1: Episodes “Arizona”

Total: 16 Episodes

BOOKS

  1. Fashions of a Decade: The 1940’s by Patricia Baker
  2. The Revolution of Birdie Raldolph by Brandy Colbert
  3. Little Golden Books: Bunnies’ ABC by Garth Williams
  4. Little Golden Books: My First Counting Book by Lilian Moore
  5. My Little Golden Book of Dogs by Jean Lewis
  6. Maggie to the Rescue by Ari Hunt
  7. If the Dinosaurs Came Back by Bernard Most
  8. Night-Night, Baby Mousling by Cara
  9. Quick as a Cricket by Audrey Wood
  10. Bunnicula by James Howe
  11. Swimmy by Leo Lionni
  12. Puppy Tales (Mother Goose Book by multiple authors)
  13. Growing Vegetable Soup by Lois Ehlert
  14. Sing a Song of People by Lois Lenski
  15. The Little White Owl by Tracey Corderoy & Jane Chapman

Total: 15 Books

MOVIES & DOCUMENTARIES

  1. Howl’s Moving Castle
  2. RED

Total: 2 Movies & Documentaries

PODCASTS

  1. The Adventure Zone: Episodes 34, 35, 36, 37, 38
  2. Welcome to Night Vale: Episodes 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87
  3. Kakos Industries: S1 Episodes 4, 5, 6
  4. The Queer Thesperience: Episode 3
    (I design the promotional graphics for this podcast so….you should totally check this podcast out haha)
  5. Cults: Episodes 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
  6. Serial Killers: 176
  7. Lore: Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
  8. My Brother, My Brother, & Me: Episodes 1
  9. Jar of Rebuke: Episodes 1
    (I ALSO design the promotional graphics for this podcast & read the end credits so….you should also check out this one lol)

Total: 29 Podcast Episodes

ALBUMS

Total: 0 Albums

THIS MONTH’S MEDIA: JULY 2020

Hey! So this previous month, I *FINALLY* actually tracked all the media I consumed (shows, podcasts, books, etc) in the month of July! And because I’m a nerd for tracking things AND a nerd for making lists, I would like to share with y’all what media I enjoyed during this past month 🙂

TV

  1. Transformers: Prime S1 EP. 15 – S1 EP. 24
  2. Steven Universe: S2 EP. 2, 3

Total: 12 Episodes

BOOKS

  1. The Letter Q by Sara Moon
  2. First Drawings: Dinosaurs by Katie Lajiness
  3. A Little Book of Sloth by Lucy Cooke
  4. My First Picture Dictionary by Katherine Howard
  5. Operation Beautiful: Transforming the Way You See Yourself One Post-It Note at a Time by Caitlin Boyle
  6. The Lovables & the Kingdom of Self-Esteem by Diane Loomans
  7. The Art of Steampunk by Art Donavan

Total: 7 Books

MOVIES & DOCUMENTARIES

  1. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
  2. Ratatouille
  3. Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban
  4. Unmasking Jack the Ripper
  5. 13th

Total: 5 Movies & Documentaries

PODCASTS

  1. The Adventure Zone: Episodes 27, 28, 29, 30
  2. Welcome to Night Vale: Episodes 77, 78, 79, 80, 81
  3. Schmanners: Episodes 3, 216
  4. Serial Killing: A Podcast – Episode “Jack the Ripper”, “Hello Kitty Murder”, “The True Story Behind ‘Silence of the Lambs’”
  5. Kakos Industries: S1 Episode 1, 2, 3
  6. Sawbones: Episodes 1
  7. The Queer Thesperience: Episodes 1, 2
    (I design the promotional graphics for this podcast so….you should totally check this podcast out haha)
  8. Cults: Episode 1
  9. Serial Killers: Ep. 168 “Hannibal Lecter of Sweden – Sture Bergwall”

Total: 22 Podcast Episodes

ALBUMS

  1. Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes
  2. Haus Party Pt. 2 – Todrick Hall
  3. Growing in the Cold – Jess Penner
  4. ‘Cuz I Love You – Lizzo

Total: 4 Albums

2010 vs 2020, & The Things I Wish I Could Tell 16-Year-Old Me

Please don’t give up. One day, you really do find all the things you’re looking for.

(Image Credit: https://picrew.me/image_maker/148413)

I saw this trend of comparing where you were 10 years ago & where you are now &……HOOOOOOO BOY A LOT HAS CHANGED & I HAVE COME SUPER FAR FROM WHERE I WAS BACK THEN.

And for that, I am really, really proud of myself.

(TW: depression, mention of suicidal thoughts)

10 years ago I was 16 & struggling with severe depression as the result of my undiagnosed & untreated mental illnesses, including bipolar & BPD.

I had literally ZERO friends as a result of my social difficulties & the fact I didn’t have a job nor go to school (I was homeschooled), & my family was too poor to afford any extra activities, so I was at home all the time except for shopping trips for YEARS.

I felt utterly invisible & almost constantly hopeless about my future, & I suffered from frequent intrusive & suicidal thoughts as well as intense anxiety.

I also was struggling with a lot of guilt, anxiety, & shame about my gender & sexuality.

I was terrified & hopeless over the fact I didn’t think I would ever have real friends or actually be happy. Getting through every day was a struggle, & because of stigma against mental illness in my family, I literally had NO ONE I could tell about my feelings except venting to strangers on the internet.

When I turned 25, I realized that 16-year-old me hadn’t really expected they’d even MAKE it to 25, & that makes me sad now because since then, things have become SO SO GOOD.

It really DID get better, ESPECIALLY over the past year. I have an amazing group of friends which every day I’m just so grateful I’ve got these folks in my life, I’m making new friends all the time, I’m out as a bisexual & aromantic demiboy to most of the people I know including my family & I’m accepted for it, I’m working on getting low-dose testosterone, I have an amazing job that I love, I’m ACTUALLY a professional actor & artist who’s working on so MANY exciting projects, I don’t feel invisible usually anymore & I have SO MUCH HOPE for my future, I finally started going to therapy, & I’m finally finding the mental health meds that are making a huge difference in how I feel.

I feel so loved & supported by everyone in my life, & I’m so, SO glad to be where I am today ❤️.

Things really did get better, & if I could go back in time & tell my 16-year-old self something, more than anything I’d just really like them to know that all the things they think they’re never gonna have? A job they love? Amazing friends? Acceptance from my family? Treatment for my mental illnesses? True happiness?

They find ALL of that & then some, & it’s so so much better than they imagined it would be.

…Because you see, they don’t just grow up & make it & survive.

It takes a while, & it’s still not perfect, but they grow up, & make it, & THRIVE.

❤️❤️❤️

It is Not Easy, But I am Finding It

From the book —

the warmest home

home is when I am with you;
home is other places too –
home will always be the field
& the fairgrounds & the fairytale,
& it will always be the castles & the caves &
the world that tingles so tangibly at the precipice of my imagination
the one I attempt to make real by the fervor
by which I believe in it

you are not the only home I have,
but you are the warmest one

“It is Not Easy, But I am Finding It” is a collection of 36 poems by Ashlee Craft.

Publication Date: April 7, 2020
Paperback: 40 pages
Genre: Poetry

Amazon

MARCH 2020 – Second of the Day Video!

Several of my friends make videos with the “1 Second a Day” app, so in March I finally decided to jump on the bandwagon!!🌈It was a month of some fun shows at my job at The Murder Mystery Company, my first trip to GA (for work, before the quarantine began), new cosplays, making lots of TikToks, playing games, yummy foods, & most importantly, having a blast video chatting with friends, including a just-for-fun improv show & playing D&D for the very first time!!😊Also I got a propeller hat haha 😎

Issue 16 (Ashlee Craft/Assemblage)

Issue 16 (October 2019) of Ashlee Craft’s fun & funky zine, Assemblage.

Includes contributions from Ashlee Craft, opulenceartmvmt, Gabriella Rosie, Nikki Cee, Marisol Muro, peteyhana, Mitch Sims, treasure_troll, partieworm/partyworm, Clara Fridolin Biller, dis._.grace, heem.black, & more!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

minimalism is dead 4 / world’s best flamingo hat 5 / your mental health is valid 6 / I create my own magic 7 / GAY AF 8 / I secretly know what I am supposed to be doing 9 / rainbow NYC 10 / jar of sunlight 11 / protect trans kids 12 / when the door opens 13 / fairyland is real 22 / the opulence of childhood 23 / grumpy banana 24 / in pursuit of magic 25 / area 31 26 / pink hallway into a surreal sponge world 27 / not a boy, not a girl 28 / every day is rainbow day 29 / whimsical world riddles 30 / birthday elephants 32 / when life gives you lemons 33 / worm on a string makeup 34 / if you drive far enough, you’ll find a sunny day 35 / non-binary visibility 36 / exuberance is important 37 / red sky at night 38 / lucky duck 39 / full house 40 / how are your omens? 41 / the nakedness of my soul scared me 42 / mental health protip #1 43 / sheep of a different color 44 / you do not want to be in the soil 46 / rockin’ twink energy 49 / I’m not a late bloomer, I’m just not interested 50 / true story: me mum wouldn’t get me a dump truck for my birthday (chrissie the orange) 51 / a (micro) interview with Michael Sheen 54 / broken love scenes (short story) 55 / be your own jeeves 58 / it doesn’t even matter if they like you or not 59 / they/them 60 / wonder boa 62 / queer confidence 65 / fashion icon: heem.black 66 / carnival pizza 68 / hamlet’s resignation letter 69 / the magic is in you 70 / the universe loves me, win or lose 71 / traveling home 72

Publication Date: November 2, 2019
Genre: Zines

Amazon

Move on Up – NEW POETRY BOOK

MOVE ON UP is a collection of 61 poems by Ashlee Craft.

twenty-five

I must figure out how to reconcile what is & what was,
what was never meant to be & the relief that was always fated to
become the cure, & turn the teardrops into
pieces of glitter, & each glinting blade
into gold, & figure out what to do now
that I have done what was maybe impossible
in the eyes of myself ten years ago

but I am here;
I am fucking here,
& I must figure out who to be
now that I have broken through the brick wall
& seen there is light on the other side too

Publication Date: October 3, 2019
Genre: Poetry

Amazon

Issue 15 (Ashlee Craft/Assemblage)

Issue 15 of Ashlee Craft’s weird, avant-garde, & beautiful art, poetry, & design magazine, “Assemblage”.

CONTENT TABLE //

what shall I do today? / look at all the owls / I am very proud of myself / birthday 20-14 / the significance of a bit of joy / don’t kiss their ass (short story) / remember to feel good / favorite character of the month: miles maitland (bright young things, 2003) / fun fun fun / tim & jan: hobbies / bestower of joy / flower transplanted from darkness into light / a motivational sloth: you have what it takes / dichotomy / live better / that label doesn’t apply anymore / build body & mind like a collection of files or facts / feelin gay / entire cycle heart heart heart / I thought you expected more from me / every tuesday hugging myself / beautiful & strange & HERE (poem) / protective embrace (from all the crap they try to stifle you with) / resignation letter (poem) / work work work work work – / tired, so tired / rescind / a pink-red flamingo (cover image) / math & science / vulnerability: the crying circus strongman / what matters more? / owls saved & nurtured / 00:00 it all begins again again / bus facade (short story) / note to self: (it’s tough, but you become a badass) / orange hair badass, or Anais Nin quote

Publication Date: July 19, 2019
Genre: Zines

Amazon

Beneath the Soil, Beneath Concrete – NEW POETRY BOOK

Beneath the Soil, Beneath Concrete is a collection of 48 poems by Ashlee Craft.

lions on a gray beach

with my shield of hard rock I went out to try & face the gray
but even it was washed away like waves kissing the sand with death
leaving me stranded & naked on the cold gray shore
alone, alone, alone,
dangerously alone,

yet: I had never been as close to being washed, numb & fading,
into the ocean as I had always feared I had been

was I near the edge? Yes.
but there was always an invisible barrier, somewhere in front of me
lovingly presiding over my fears
& never allowing them to cut me as deeply as they seemed capable of?

Yes.

I still enclosed tinder deep inside me
meant to turn my meager slivers of happiness
into lions

Publication Date: July 25, 2019
Genre: Poetry

Amazon