love Archives - Ashlee Craft's World

you’ve always been good enough for me

July 15, 2015Ashlee

you’ve always been good enough for me,
always
& I’ve always been good enough for you
even all those times I was certain
that I’d made the biggest mistake or surely was the most
worthless, useless person who couldn’t do anything right
& would never amount to anything
even when I couldn’t see it in myself,
you showed me that I was worth it

I never thought things would be better for me
I never thought I deserved better

I would look in the mirror & see something
ugly, someone ugly who should hide their face
& try to be invisible; living in shadows, dwelling in
darkness; but you gently lifted my chin up
to face the sun
& finally made me believe that in all ways,
I was good enough,
always good enough

blackberry flowers

May 26, 2015Ashlee

forgotten / I saw you standing off to the side

trying to pretend that you couldn’t see the sun / flowers
along the side of the trail, you walked so far ahead of me
I had to squint into the sun to see you / it was how you wanted it
to be; running away, like you always did / you stopped
& bent down to look at the flowers

I approached you slowly / a shadow from the trees above us
reflected down onto you, all I saw was your fragile & shatterable self
confidence was hanging by a thread & I felt a greater sense of pity
& a greater sense of nurturing towards you than I previously knew
then fear made sense to me / you were afraid of losing me to the wind & the storms
& yet I was afraid of losing you to the night & the words
of everyone who tried to bring you down

you sat there still & silent / looking towards the flowers
but not at them / “I’m sorry.” I told you
the breeze blew & the flowers trembled, then the breeze came to a close
& the sunlight fell still & rested upon the petals
“it’s all going to be okay.” I said gently to you “everything is going to be fine.”

the beams of stars

May 22, 2015Ashlee

singularity happenstance replicated patterns on wood silk nonsensical rants over cups of coffee / I walk everywhere with you & we physically don’t go anywhere but mentally we are everything reaching out into the void of space across the endless miles between us & touching each others’ souls / & it is in this space, this emptiness, this nothingness that I find I am able to be myself, to see myself reflected in the beams of stars, & it is all there, & all beautiful, & I can hold it in the palm of my hands & do nothing, & the star beams of light keep flooding out into the wilderness, & illuminating everything radiant & so beautiful, & I am knowing that it is there, & right to be there, & star beams are branching out from my hands & traveling the miles or maybe its only a few feet between us & the star beams are branching out & they find you there, the light is reaching from my hands into yours, & so that even when we are far from each other, we see the same sun & live in the same minutes & seconds & hours, & this is how we find each other