Ashlee Craft's World

Blog

Same Person / Personal Space

(from A Thousand Cranes, Volume 7)

walking tall with my
shoulders back & my chin lifted
no, no more do I cower hiding behind false bricks & pretending that I am not there
no more do I hide inside myself too afraid to speak at all
no more do I complacently go along with what I am told & never question it
no more do I take the words of others as gospel
or think that just because someone thinks I should do something, that I should
or that I have to go along with it
& never belong to anyone but me
no more am I am afraid to speak up for myself

–

don’t let them push you around
two people told me this in the same week
& I took it to heart that time when I finally said no
& learned to take my life back
from the hands of others to whom they thought it had been given
don’t let them push you around
stand up for yourself
stand up for yourself
stand up to all those who try to repress you
or keep you where you don’t want to be
or make you uncomfortable
or bring you down in any way
or make you feel like you’re not worth it

–

no more shall I avert my eyes & look down
as if I am hiding
no more shall I hunch my shoulders
as if I am invisible
no more shall I let others push me around
as if I am not worthy of respect
I am a different person now
& no one pushes me around
no one tells me what I should be
no one brings me down
no one makes me afraid
no one makes me feel invisible
no one stops me

July 23, 2015
you’ve always been good enough for me

you’ve always been good enough for me,
always
& I’ve always been good enough for you
even all those times I was certain
that I’d made the biggest mistake or surely was the most
worthless, useless person who couldn’t do anything right
& would never amount to anything
even when I couldn’t see it in myself,
you showed me that I was worth it

I never thought things would be better for me
I never thought I deserved better

I would look in the mirror & see something
ugly, someone ugly who should hide their face
& try to be invisible; living in shadows, dwelling in
darkness; but you gently lifted my chin up
to face the sun
& finally made me believe that in all ways,
I was good enough,
always good enough

July 15, 2015
Playlist // Soundtrack to My Life, May 1 Year Prior (From the July Issue of Ashlee Craft / Assemblage)

Listen to the playlist on YouTube

1. Archer’s Arrows – Crowded House

2. Make You Feel My Love – Adele

3. Fix You – Coldplay

4. Jumper – Third Eye Blind

5. This is Gospel – Panic! At The Disco

6. Comforting Sounds – Mew

7. I’d Really Love to See You Tonight – England Dan & John Ford Coley

8. Who Am I? – Les Miserables Cast

9. I Can Almost See You – Hammock

10. The Ballad of Mona Lisa – Panic! At the Disco

11. The End of All Things – Panic! At the Disco

12. You Can’t Always Get What You Want – The Rolling Stones

July 11, 2015
Stars & Owls

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links to products that I recommend. When you click on an affiliate link to a product on an external website, I will receive compensation if you buy something. Thank you for your support.

Devon & Jones Women’s Savile Patterned Dress Shirt in Multi Cabana Stripe // shorts from T. J. Maxx // star earrings from Claire’s // purple earrings from Wal-Mart // Just Be… High Top Tennis Shoes // eye shadow from L. A. Colors // purple eyeliner from Claire’s // white rubber watch from Wal-Mart // gold bangle bracelets from Wal-Mart // owl socks from Amazon.com // owl ring from eBay

July 11, 2015
Zinnias

& in something, there was a beginning
wandered thru empty antique hallways
& wardrobes filled with lost specific dreams
dusted off & rediscovered
& embraced

July 10, 2015
did you ever just stand there & realize how perfect all of it is?

July 6, 2015
Yellow T-Rex Outing

you stood with your back to the wind & the rain
& lied to the clouds about where you thought you belonged
in a cage, you said
but I knew you were wrong
& that your only true home could be the wind & the sky & the wild nature outside the door
that no cage could ever contain you

Yellow sleeveless shirt by Just Be… // skirt brand unknown // tights by No Boundaries // combat boots by Faded Glory // gel nail polish by L. A. Colors in Rockin’ It // sparkly hair bow from a dollar store // t-rex earrings from eBay // gold facial glitter on cheeks by Wet ‘N Wild // yellow eye shadow by Modeso

& the sky is still waiting to hear the sound
of the bird who is finally learning to fly

July 3, 2015
Pineapple Girl

Pineapple shirt by No Boundaries // shorts by Gap // Op high top shoes // pink bow on shirt from Claire’s // pineapple earrings from Claire’s // bracelet from Wal-Mart // L. A. Colors eye shadow // lipstick L. A. Colors in Coral Sheen // glitter lip gloss by L. A. Colors in Fuschia // Claire’s pink eyeliner brushed onto ends of lashes // brows colored with e.l.f. cosmetics coffee eyeliner pencil

June 28, 2015
Reflections of Flowers

From A Thousand Cranes, Volume 10

rhymes floating in floodgates of windows, Hey Jude is playing quietly in the background, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road too as she’s walking across the cement, the ground below her is absorbing the sound of footsteps, & they’re echoing between buildings / cool cement in the late afternoon, long shadows / she has decided what she is going to be & walking towards it, bags packed / uncertain future in the distance, like the sun, but she runs to greet it because it is the sun

words floating in empty buildings, they are totally silent but for the street traffic outside, horns honking & the quiet lull of motors, breathe in deeply the emptiness & realize that emptiness can become anything / this building is empty, but it is beautiful / think of the geode: a plain ordinary rock that only when it is broken reveals the quartz crystals that were inside of it all along; this is you / you think your brokenness makes you ugly, but being broken was the only thing that allowed you to see beauty that would have been otherwise hidden from you

raindrops floating in reflections of flowers, you sat inside while it was raining & watched the droplets falling, thinking that you were stuck inside while the storm raged / I said something to you about how everyone must learn not to be afraid of going out to get what they want / you looked me in the eyes & got up & opened the door, took a deep breath & stepped out into the rain / “I don’t have to let storms stop me!” you sobbed, smiling as you walked barefoot in the puddles, watching raindrops bounce off flower petals, & ran through the gardens as the storm raged outside, & I joined you / eventually the clouds parted; warm rain stopped falling & the sun returned from behind the clouds, warm sun in the humid air in lush dark green garden, & the flowers were still dancing

June 21, 2015
I Am Not the Same Person I Once Was

June 6, 2015