I Am Not the Same Person I Once Was
Poetry
wanderings
questions without questions / rewritten words, handed down from the very heights of your understanding, & you tell everyone you know the ineffable & beautiful truth that you feel welling up inside of you / there is still uncertainty, there is still fear, & there are still questions you can’t answer yet / a warm mug of coffee sits on your counter, it is early morning & you are just waking up & everything is just beginning / you realize there are endless roads that are out in front of you now, limitless, you are limitless / to me, it just feels like stagnant energy being lifted, & the clumsiness of the dying & outdated past is being reborn & reshaped into the future, just because there is now room for it to grow into / there is still uncertainty, there is still fear, but it is a tentative step forward / there is still uncertainty, there is still fear, but you are now strong enough to move past
blackberry flowers
forgotten / I saw you standing off to the side
trying to pretend that you couldn’t see the sun / flowers
along the side of the trail, you walked so far ahead of me
I had to squint into the sun to see you / it was how you wanted it
to be; running away, like you always did / you stopped
& bent down to look at the flowers
I approached you slowly / a shadow from the trees above us
reflected down onto you, all I saw was your fragile & shatterable self
confidence was hanging by a thread & I felt a greater sense of pity
& a greater sense of nurturing towards you than I previously knew
then fear made sense to me / you were afraid of losing me to the wind & the storms
& yet I was afraid of losing you to the night & the words
of everyone who tried to bring you down
you sat there still & silent / looking towards the flowers
but not at them / “I’m sorry.” I told you
the breeze blew & the flowers trembled, then the breeze came to a close
& the sunlight fell still & rested upon the petals
“it’s all going to be okay.” I said gently to you “everything is going to be fine.”
the beams of stars
singularity happenstance replicated patterns on wood silk nonsensical rants over cups of coffee / I walk everywhere with you & we physically don’t go anywhere but mentally we are everything reaching out into the void of space across the endless miles between us & touching each others’ souls / & it is in this space, this emptiness, this nothingness that I find I am able to be myself, to see myself reflected in the beams of stars, & it is all there, & all beautiful, & I can hold it in the palm of my hands & do nothing, & the star beams of light keep flooding out into the wilderness, & illuminating everything radiant & so beautiful, & I am knowing that it is there, & right to be there, & star beams are branching out from my hands & traveling the miles or maybe its only a few feet between us & the star beams are branching out & they find you there, the light is reaching from my hands into yours, & so that even when we are far from each other, we see the same sun & live in the same minutes & seconds & hours, & this is how we find each other
early morning
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