“All My Friends” – The Ashlee Craft Show – Episode 035 – Poetry

In Episode 035, I read another poem from my poetry book “Reflections in the Green Triangle” titled “All My Friends”.
REFLECTIONS IN THE GREEN TRIANGLE BOOK

 

ALL MY FRIENDS

for such a long time I thought that I was alone / desperately seeking friendship & reaching out out out floating on desperate waves looking for someone / pleading in the night that I would find somebody to spend time with / searching & searching with the mistaken impression that I was alone / looking for someone I could enjoy being with & embrace & understand & be understood by / but with time I’d see the the whole time / I’d been surrounded by friends

one day I opened my eyes & saw that
I’d never been alone
& I began to find friends everywhere I looked

I was friends with the sun in the sky
the rainbows up ahead
the ideas & questions of if & why
birds singing in the forest I passed thru
each blade of grass covered with morning dew
birds outside my window chirping in the morning
in the lightening & thunder crashing out their warning
the rain pouring onto the pavement
peace, love, & independence
the moon watching gently over the night
the first brand new ray’s of the sunrise’s light
& the twinkling stars I wish upon
the joy contained in each beautiful song
the hummingbirds sipping nectar from flowers
in the fun & freedom filling my every hour

I found friendship in
leaves rustling & drifting down in the breezes
music floating from open windows
jazz musicians playing in cafes
magical sounds of harmonies
artwork & music & films & books &
poems on the walls
crashing waves upon the shore
& the sun melting onto the water in the afternoon
the smell of freshly mowed grass
& the after-rain’s fresh scent
& the sunsets & the sunrises
in the adventures I have everyday
& in happiness

I found a friend
in life

“Fog – The Walls Are Not Gray Anymore” – The Ashlee Craft Show – Episode 030 – Poetry

In Episode 030, I read one of the poems from my newest poetry book, “The Walls Were Gray” titled “FOG – THE WALLS ARE NOT GRAY ANYMORE”.

FOG – THE WALLS ARE NOT GRAY ANYMORE

I floored it –
out onto the empty road –
gray mist rose up around me –
floored it –
ahead the fog cleared –
I saw the vibrant nurturing rainbow –
& the meadow where I will thrive –
non-linear joyful skip dance drive towards it –
suddenly finding myself closer to arriving –
the fog clears –
gray walls around me melt away revealing rainbows –
I am no longer confined
by my own false belief that I did not deserve to be free –
floored it & didn’t need to look back into the fog –
floored it –
away vroom vroom –
freedom, I am free finally finding it –

I KNOW WHO I NEED TO BECOME NOW

THE WALLS WERE GRAY

“Silent Night” – The Ashlee Craft Show – Episode 026 – Poetry

Episode 026 is THE SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY EPISODE of The Ashlee Craft Show, so thank you SO MUCH for all your support for it! It’s been so much fun making it & will be even more fun as it continues. For this episode, I read a poem from my Winter poetry book titled “Silent Night”.

WINTER (FOUR SEASONS #2)

Silent Night

silent night / holy night

you sit there looking into the down-turned eyes of lonely strangers / lost on a cold, unforgiving ocean to which there seems no chance of rescue & the boat seems on its last leg / it’s Christmas eve & you huddle in the canvas tents while the boom boom boom explosions nearby shake the ground / fear flows as fresh as the blood in their veins as the cramped isolation begins to take its toll & you suddenly feel as though you’re falling thru an empty world yet the overcrowded illusion & warmth stifles you / the cool night air outside seems as cold as the desperation – frantic grasping rapid fire falling falling falling into an abyss to which there is no return hope is gone from your soul & all you want to do is go home / the isolated desolation & illusion of paper-thin canvas walled tent huddled, silent, seems as fragile as the beating of your heart which could stop any moment & you feel the liquid cool of night air sifting thru your palms / mind goes back to ten years ago when you were a kid

you feel cold despite the heat in the tent & the putrid smell of sweat fills your nostrils & you feel empty – cold – alone – your heart beats madly against the wall of your ribcage, beating so strongly yet seeming so weak like a baby bird just hatched attempting to flap it’s wings & fly / you see the fear felt in your heart mirrored twenty times in the faces around you / what do they think of, what do they feel / the same as you, each in their own way / you avert your eyes to the dirt floor & suppress the urge to tear the nightmare illusions around you down, tear down the canvas backdrop & the projections of people & the illusions of fear / but you can’t / it’s not an illusion & it’s the only reality that there is

your heart aches for your family & friends & the thought crosses your mind constantly that you may never return to them / you wonder why you signed up for this but there’s no turning back & you feel alone in the world

first Christmas away from home / your heart reaches the most desperate lonely despondency distraught with fear & misery

silence is broken / a voice so warm & kind, trembling slightly beneath the weight of the war & world & fear, overcomes the situation & rises to do what they know they must do / they feel the same fear as you & their young face gleams in the pale lighting, a reflection of your own

the song raises thru the air & wafts onto the roof of the tent & it remains there / as more of the song is revealed, the air becomes heavy with the hope & fills the whole tent / other voices join in & you suddenly find yourself singing / your spirit soars & suddenly somehow you know you’re gonna be okay

you’re gonna be okay

the Christmas voices & spirits soaring flying alive for this one moment enter into each heart & hope is restored

in the midst of loneliness & pain came the soft words bringing hope / the midst of war & hate, for just a moment, there was love & peace

silent night / holy night / all is calm / all is bright / round young virgin mother & child / holy infant so tender & mild / sleep in heavenly peace / sleep in heavenly peace

“You Used to Be My Soulmate” – The Ashlee Craft Show – Episode 025 – Poetry

Episode 025 is a poem from my upcoming poetry book THE WALLS WERE GRAY, which will be released December 15th by Freedom Meadow Media! I’m really excited to share this poem with you because you get a sneak peak of my newest book!

HERE’S MY NEW BOOK THAT THIS POEM IS FROM →

YOU ONCE WERE MY SOULMATE, NOW YOU ARE A SHADOW

when I was with you, I thought you were everything / I loved you deeply & only ever wanted you to love me back with equal strength / I wrote romantic poems about how you & I would be looking at each other, driving around town with the jazz playing / I used to think that was what I wanted / we could both be mature & stereotypically in love with each other / I thought it would last forever / we would grow up together

we would grow cynical together / I have been glad many times, but especially now, that things never worked out / you would never have loved the way I came to dress, the way I colored my hair neon bright, the way I was so determined above anything else to accomplish something you didn’t think was worth doing / you would never have loved the person I have become / you only loved me when I became a carbon copy of you

when I told you my secret dream, you said, “well, that’s nice but -” / you were the one who had taken the advice of your drunkard neighbor who told you it was too stressful to try & follow your own dream / I find it hard to believe he was literally the only person you ever knew you could have asked that question to, & you believed him when he told you it wouldn’t be fun / you decided rather than find out for yourself you’d rather blindly believe he was right, even though he was just one person & that was just his opinion / you never asked again

complacency & comfort can be terrible things / you get comfortable & then you stop evolving / you simultaneously love & hate where you’re at / you think it’s okay to just be “okay” / mediocrity came knocking on your door one day & you let it in / it has lived there, hogging your couch & soiling your floor ever since / it would leave if you asked it, but you never have

I can take comfort in knowing that what I did was way beyond anything you would have wanted to do or would have let me do / you would have told me it was a terrible idea & I would have believed you / if we would have ended up together, we would never have ventured out / every place we went would be “safe”, would be “socially acceptable” / you would never become the kind of person who would stay up until three in the morning falling in love with the concert you just heard, you would never venture out on a whimsical road trip alone to do things that were genuinely important to you, you would never pursue the challenging obstacle course, you would never fly out to see the musicians play / you would stay safe with your cruises & prepackaged vacation deals where the itinerary would dictate your every move, your work would always be your first love for the wrong reasons, & you would never be bold enough to let yourself live

instead you would follow in the footsteps of every sheep who walked before you, blindly following everything the herd did because they were “supposed to” / if we would have ended up together, I would never know what it was like / it wouldn’t have been the type of thing you would ever want to do, & I would have agreed with your vision of me because I really thought you were right

& you would never have been able to do it alone / it didn’t, couldn’t, never would fit in with your narrow ideas about how to keep up with both the Joneses & the sheep at the same time

& I can take comfort in knowing that what I did was way beyond anything you could have done / I thought you were the better half but now I see I’m wrong / I did something braver than anything you can fathom, much less bring to life

you could have had it all too, if you would have really wanted to

but you never had the courage