the real truth of the matter was bold like the business cards & the muffled sound & flashing cameras in the studios / when that type of gold lost its shine / I walked the false pathways many times before & saw the reflections on the other side of glass mirrors / hard work, & real integrity, he said, & I believed him, & loved the road-songs / I remembered the utter freedom of the time, & the way it felt driving towards the storm, & also away from the storm simultaneously
& the real falling-in-love happened, & the veil was stripped away, revealing the core of your own frequencies, sent out into the universe / I watched the facades fall away, & the clear-crystal water reflected my own face back, gently
Issue 11 of Ashlee Craft’s life-is-a-playground art & poetry zine, Ashlee Craft / Assemblage.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
a conversation, like friends 4 / your words were the fall (& my response was the Safety) 5 / movie-making books 6 / friend 7 / again, again 8 / go to sleep 9 / earlier than last time 10 & 11 / it was vaguely raining 12 / in the beginning 13 / learn your monologue 14 / over & over 15 / this is my therapy (or at least it used to be) 16 / paper money 17 / this is ridiculous 18 / they really should be glad, that you’re there 19 / sunny jungle 20 / pissed off 21 / promise I will be free 22 / free to do anything 23 / DON’T MESS WITH ME 24 / crying, in caves 25 / maybe there is freedom in this 26 / rather replaceable 27 / your number of friends does not define you 28 / what I’m made of 29 / your job does not define you either 30 / fully intend on being there 31 / chocolate oatmeal 32 / purchase 33 / fruit color swatches one 34 / the lighting aisle 35 / video a week ago 36 / I freaking love this place 37 / look happier 38 / caffeine 39 / I deserve respect 40 / stickers blank page (or somewhat poetic ode) 41 / STICKERS! 42 / sometimes life doesn’t seem real 43 / more jazz : a few recommendations 44 / walk through a hallway of balloons 45 / extricate you from my life 46 / royalty 47 / be better than what they think you should be 48 / unapologetic 49 / my eyes are open 50 /
Publish Date // May 29, 2016 Paperback 50 pages Genre // Magazines
Issue 10 of Ashlee Craft’s life-is-a-playground art & poetry zine, Ashlee Craft / Assemblage.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
the door 4 / work smarter not harder, my friend 5 / things I love when people say to me 6 / belong + be awesome 7 / souvenirs 8 / you held me down & hindered me 9 / fledglings 10 / angry stars 11 / let him go if he causes you so much pain (& makes you feel so sad) 12 / to hell with you 13 / more than you know 14 / conduct yourself like you are the queen 15 / he still didn’t text me back 16 / do better 17 / let it go 18 / what I’m made of 19 / not force & not fear 20 / cantaloupe 21 / you deserve better than this 22 / no reply 23 / the dark knight rises 24 / I was chasing you 25 / therapeutic music 26 / better things to do 27 / garland 28 / the strangely beautiful feeling of afternoon 29 / do my very best 30 / define mini-bitch 31 / you thought you could eradicate everything weaker 32 / what matters 33 / they don’t deserve my anger 34 / happiness is the best revenge 35 / not worth the tears 36 / wow bro 37 / damn you for making me think this was real 38 / surprise party 39 / all a loan 40 / another to-do list 41 / poems to write 42 / fight (fight) 43 / icelandic water 44 /
Issue 9 of Ashlee Craft’s life-is-a-playground art & poetry zine, Ashlee Craft / Assemblage.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
golden 4 / equals, or not? 5 / friends (maybe she is just as alone as you) 6 / plenty of attitude 7 / skateboard 8 / long term goals 9 / things to buy on the big shopping trip 10 / so damn good to play guitar again 11 / place 12 / fashion inspirations 13 / to thine own self be true 14 / a few songs about friends 15 / neon books 16 / to do today 17 / my name 18 / six months ago 19 / winter tree 20 / how far I’ve come 21 / it is possible to come back from that 22 / eating fruit 23 / things I bought today 24 / partially happy 25 / feeling inspired 26 / more shopping… 27 / listen to some music 28 / determination vs compulsivity 29 / inspiring things to do 30 / internet ideas 31 / words 32 / avalanche 33 / let go of me 34 / there is a fire, illumination 35 / after the storm 36 / I WILL NEVER SELL MY SOUL TO YOU OR ANYONE ELSE 37 / take care of your needs 38 / stone in my shoe 39 / get up & go with it 40 / lack of sleep 41 / compliments to the team 42 / there is a moment when you realize it isn’t the end 43 / so damn tired 44 / what does it mean to have friends? 45
Publish Date // January 29, 2016 Paperback 45 pages Genre // Magazines
I thought that without you, I would be a shadow; that I would go back to being what I used to be before I met you. Sad & incapable. I thought of you as the foundation everything I became was built upon. It would crumble if you weren’t there. That the person I had become was dependent on you being there. I looked at the happy, light, euphoric way I felt because of you (who I became because of how you made me feel) & the sense of belonging & being “good enough” that I finally felt. I thought these feelings couldn’t exist without you being with me, like a constant & repetitive circle that required you feeding the fire to keep it going. Eventually though, I realized that what I had become because of you was mine to keep. The feelings & experiences; the things that now made me feel good about who I was; the way I’d learned to love myself – those were things that could not be taken away or forgotten or repressed. This was who I was now; it wasn’t dependent on you validating me or providing a mirror by which I could see myself. It was thanks to you, showing me how to be this person & motivating me to do so, & it was thanks to me, grabbing up & running with these feelings & discoveries, & then building upon them when I had to, in order to become independently happy. I don’t need you in order to feel that way – I really can do it on my own.
Issue 8 of Ashlee Craft’s life-is-a-playground art & poetry zine, Ashlee Craft / Assemblage.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
a letter 4 / a little bit tired 6 / afraid of getting sad again 7 / you know you could do better, right? 8 / forgiveness 9 / raw, beautiful people 10 / dreams 11 / the roar of the lion 12 / so close 13 / lunch food 14 / you thought you had me 15 / frog 17 / you love me & I feel the same way towards you 18 / the first day 19 / you changed too much 20 / light at the end of the tunnel 21 / the purest love 22 / afraid of the future 23 / pay 24 / it was a strange time in my life 25 / I don’t need you to feel that way 26 / space 27 / forgotten 28 / pointless pain 30 / feeling better (maybe I just need to be alone) 31 / looking forward to tomorrow 32 / I will take care of myself though 33 / why do we fall? 34 / questions 35 / happy again 36 / have fun 37 / wow, it’s weird 38 / what says the most about people 39 / I casually destroyed their little plan 40 / I’ll take care of you 41 / being an everyday person 42 / jealous 43 / friends 44 / I know I made the right choice 45 / choosing you 46 / beautiful 47 / people with clouds of a smile behind them 48
Publish Date // December 18, 2015 Paperback 48 pages Genre // Magazines
Issue 7 of Ashlee Craft’s life-is-a-playground art & poetry zine, Ashlee Craft / Assemblage.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
it depends 4 / just love (no more fear) 6 / nothing ventured NOTHING GAINED 7 / it is the confidence 8 / why can’t it be me? 9 / continue being happy 10 / training 11 / you can validate yourself 12 / pretzel rolls & a movie 13 / one step at a time 14 / no motivation 15 / to hell with all this 16 / vegan meals 17 / tarot 18 / excited to get out of bed 19 / marine iguana 20 / that’s just what I do 21 / freaked out 22 / it hurts like hell 23 / body 24 / proud of myself 25 / days of being happy 26 / I really am going to (I hope so) 27 / thoughts 28 / happy person 29 / strength to be happy 30 / teeth 31 / she liked to battle her demons in the dark 32 / I want to make my own clothes & school myself 34 / you will do an amazing job 35 / hello, I am 36 / part of a team 37 / upcoming books 38 / I’ve stopped using it as an escape 39 / be who you want to be 40 / a glimpse 42 / flower on a table 43 / I knew then I belonged there 44 / a few random thoughts of mine 46 / night tree 47 / so many projects to work on 48
Publish Date // November 27, 2015 Paperback 48 pages Genre // Magazines
Issue 6 of Ashlee Craft’s life-is-a-playground art & poetry zine, Ashlee Craft / Assemblage.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
very happy 4 / keep you safe 5 / even though it hurts 6 / stay 7 / rewriting the words 8 / I’ve always wanted you 9 / hurt again 10 / no more emptiness – I have arrived 12 / misty mountain fog 13 / you used to care 14 / happiness is all I want 15 / why I hurt 16 / passionate love 17 / the feel of love 18 / to endure hell 19 / re-reading 20 / strength of my own soul 21 / existing 22 / hello (I love you) 23 / best thing you’ve ever seen 24 / cashier 25 / still awake? 26 / you can’t give up now 27 / you won once (you can win again) 28 / how I felt better inside 29 / sad & happy 30 / go green with your dog 31 / a love letter to one who may never read it 32 / ramblings of the mind 33 / I don’t understand it 34 / romance is seriously so weird 35 / why it’s good you took the leap 36 / reasons being 39 / ramblings of my messy mind 41 / conflicts (i’ve felt these recently) 42 / seriously, chill out 43 / be confident in who you are 44 / a love letter : what you need to do 45 / sleep 46 / grocery 47 / not everything 48 / things that feel good to me right now 49
Publish Date // October 30, 2015 Paperback 50 pages Genre // Magazines
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★ Walk On – U2. I love this song for so many reasons, but probably my favorite line in the song? “What you got, they can’t steal it. No they can’t even feel it.” They can’t take anything away from you. They cannot confine you. You can leave them behind. You are not trapped.
★ Sweet Thing – Van Morrison. A beautiful epiphany in a song. The multi-layered instrumentation is phenomenal & magical & perfect. Soaring flutes. The tender melody & lyrics. Ebullient guitar. One of my all time favorite songs.
★ You Still Believe In Me – The Beach Boys. The comforting knowledge that even after everything that has happened or will happen, that there is a constant person who has your back & will believe in you, no matter what.
★ Crowded House. I started listening to more Crowded House recently. The song that made me start loving their music was Archer’s Arrows (which is a phenomenal & fantastic song). Then I heard Don’t Dream It’s Over (see below), & fell in love with that too. I haven’t heard that many songs of theirs yet, but I’ve liked what I’ve heard so far. Their songs are very aesthetically pleasing, & very atmospheric. They’re the kind of songs I would like to work into a variety of playlists.
★ Vanilla Talenti Gelato. Seriously. Try this with rainbow sprinkles. It’s seriously THE BEST. Rainbow sprinkles make good things even better. Gelato somehow always manages to taste elegant & make you feel elegant while you’re eating it. I also love Talenti, because they keep their ingredients simple & to the point, & produce an awesome product. Fun fact : my father usually refers to my Gelato as “ice cream”, a term which I don’t think encompasses the awesomeness & quality of Gelato.
★ Ducktrap Smoked Salmon & Ducktrap Smoked Trout. I am a huge fan of smoked fish. A huge fan. Their smoked salmon with dill is AMAZING, & I am so in love right now with their smoked trout, which I just recently tried. The smoked trout tastes like a combination between fresh smoked herring fillets and smoked salmon. One thing I love about both the smoked trout & the smoked salmon is that the fillets of them are nice, thick, & wholesome, which is even better than the thin fillets more commonly found. Also, I want to put dill on everything now. I recently made homemade guacamole with dill in it, & it was great.
★ Jamming Baby Owls. BABY OWLS DANCING. Owls are the best thing ever.
★ John Owen-Jones Singing “Who Am I?” From Les Miserables. I love this song with a passion, & John Owen-Jones is the very best at singing it. He fills it with an emotion & evocative vulnerability that I haven’t heard in other renditions of the song. It is the most real, honest version, & because of this, a favorite.
★ Colorful socks inside my awesome sparkly jelly shoes. Right now, I am especially loving my photo print strawberry socks, but since I bought the jelly shoes, I have bought a lot of cute, colorful novelty socks, just for wearing inside my jelly shoes.
★ My canvas medic bag. I wear this bag in a lot of the fashion photos I take, & it’s my go-to bag for everyday usage. Ever since my Indiana Jones phase as a teen, I wanted a bag like this. I finally found one which appropriately matches the one in the films. I love it because it is sturdy, holds a lot of stuff, is comfortable & easy to wear, & just looks cool. Looking cool is the primary reason. It adds a ruggedness & uniqueness to any outfit I add it to.
★ Knee Socks with Jelly Shoes or Combat Boots. I will be posting photos of this combination soon, but it looks tough but feminine at the same time, & also allows me to include the edginess of combat boots while still showing off all my cool, patterned knee socks.
★ Laying on the floor with my dog & playing fetch with him when I get home from work. He looks forward to this, & would seriously play for hours on end if I didn’t get tired of throwing his toys for him.
★ Learning how to drive. I didn’t learn when I was younger because I had no need to, but I’m learning now, & it’s going great!
★ Earning my GED & passing all the subjects the first time around. I got honors on Reasoning Through Language Arts and in Social Studies, & was one point away from honors in Science. This was something I’d wanted to do for a long time, & I’m so proud of myself for accomplishing this goal.
★ “When nothing is sure, everything is possible.” ― Margaret Drabble. Embrace the confusion. Now that you have nothing to lose & maybe nothing to prove, you can do anything. Now that you’re confused & uncertain & scared of the changes going on around you, you can turn this into anything. You have a blank canvas from which you can paint & create & shape into whatever feels best for you.
Issue 5 of Ashlee Craft’s life-is-a-playground art & poetry zine, Ashlee Craft / Assemblage.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
be a friend 4 / what he said 5 / colorful polka dots 7 / kindness is free 8 / don’t be too quick to judge 9 / diary entry 10 / tell him (maybe it will be great) 11 / fundraising 12 / how can I be happier? 13 / personality 14 / buy flowers for myself 15 / how can you be free? 16 / feeling better emotionally 17 / numbers (of course you’re a champion) 18 / songs to learn 19 / spunky 20 / don’t be scared 21 / assertiveness 22 / ass kicking music 23 / my name is… 24 / be chill 25 / shopping list 26 / Fibonacci 27 / I will teach you 28 / I can do this 29 / to do on break 30 / shared moments 31 / two pained souls 32 / comfort each other 33 / good things happen 34 / the greatest person 36 / change my life 37 / advice for the day 38 / to do 39 / not fake 40 / names I like 41 / from the shadows 42 / why must we be so sad? (there’s really not a reason) 43 / your phone number 44 / I want you back 45 / how you act towards me 46 / sunlight to grow 47 / saying to me 48 / love, in a few syllables 49 / we danced in the rain 50 / again 51 / owls 52
Publish Date // September 29, 2015 Paperback 52 pages Genre // Magazines